[After the earth has been destroyed, and the escape ship has been destroyed too, leaving one survivor floating in space]
"I'm alone, I'm all alone."
"You're not all alone, Nick."
"What? Who— who said that?"
"It's ME silly!"
"Oh god you're Tito, the anxiety Mosquito!"
"And you're Nick Birch... You're sitting on a bus right now, freaking the FUCK OUUUUT!!"
~ Nick Starr and Tito, Big Mouth
"You can't keep DOING this! You can't keep doing shitty things, and then feel BAD about yourself like that makes it OKAY.
You need. To be. Better."
'I know, I'm sorry. But I was drunk, and there was all this pressure with the Oscar campaign and... But now that's it's over I—'
"No.. No BoJack, just stop. You are all the things that are wrong with you. It's not the drugs, or the alcohol, or any of the shitty things your parents did to you when you were a kid
It's you.
Ok, Bojack? It's you.
Fuck, man. What else is there to say?"
~ Todd, BoJack Horseman
I see you. I... C... U...
Jesus Christ. We were in the intensive care unit. She was just reading a sign.
My mother died and all I got was a free churro.
You know what's the worst thing about all this? When that girl gave me that free churro, that one act was kinder than anything Beatrice Horseman did for me in her entire goddam life. Like how hard is it to do something nice for someone?
That girl in the jack-in-the-box, she didn't even KNOW me.
I'm your **son. **
All I had was you.
~ Bojack Horseman
"[Redacted] I am so sorry—"
'Don't. Don't you dare.
If you are not out of my driveway in thirty minutes I will call the police. And if you ever, try to contact me or my family again, I will fucking kill you. '
[Slams door.]
~ [Redacted], Bojack Horseman
"What the FUCK!"
'I know. What kind of operation are you running?'
"US!? What the hell kind of relationship do you two have!?'
'Oh sure, blame it on us.'
"Uh I can, and I am. Your demonised mythologues of each other are cooperating."
'That's good right?'
"No! No! It's BAD! You two have the single worst marriage I've ever seen. It shouldn't exist! You should never, ever, EVER have gotten together and I don't know how or WHY you would choose to STAY together."
~ Rick and Morty
"Oh Tulip, we missed you at game design camp. Where were you?"
"Oh I'm sorry, I was hallucinating about OUTDATED FORMS OF TRANSPORTATION."
~ Infinity Train
Either will destroy but a remnant of the other
(Or, my rendition: Gone. Nothing but a remnant.)
~ The Prophecy, Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality
You actually think you're the Buzz Lightyear? Oh all this time I thought it was an act.
Hey guys look! It's the real Buzz Lightyear!
"You're mocking me, aren't you."
Oh no no no no no no no BUZZ LOOK AN ALIEN
"WHERE?"
BAH!
AHAHAHAHA
**OH OH **
HAHAHAHA
[Most iconic, maniacal laughter in cinematic history]
~ Woody & Buzz, Toy Story
"Come on guys stop mucking around. There's only five minutes until our show's on."
'That's not enough time!'
~ Don't Hug Me I'm Scared
"That's rude. No clothes"
~ DHMIS
For one TRILLION years I've been trapped in my own decaying dimension, WAITING for a new universe to call my own. Name's BILL! But you can call me your new lord and master for all of eternity.
Boom!
~ Bill Cipher, Gravity Falls
For the glory of merlin, daylight is mine to command!
~ Trollhunters
[In spooky voice] That's the idea!
MWAHAHAHAHA
~ Phineas, Phineas and Ferb
"I'll crush her."
'Oh yeah? Do it.'
"It'll be easy. Like breaking a toothpick"
(My rendition: I'll crush you like a toothpick.)
~ Mr Incredible, The Incredibles
Did you wash your hands?
Did you dry them?
With. Soap?
~ Violet, Incredibles 2
(I put this one in the wrong order on purpose)
I care now. You made me care more.
~ Ice T, Rick and Morty
This is not about you.
I SAID, this is NOT ABOUT YOU!
~ Clare, The Amazing World of Gumball
We've looked up to you. We always have.
~ Stephanie Beatrice in The Lego Movie 2
The only thing that can save us is reality being completely reset by some magic device!
~ Gumball, The Amazing World of Gumball
I don't even play golf!
~ Dr Doofenshmirtz, Phineas and Ferb
Ah, we meet again Buzz Lightyear. For the last time!
~ Zurg, Toy Story 2
See ya real soon!
~ Mickey Mouse, Mickey Mouse Clubhouse
It's just tiny and small and fits right in mmm fits right in.
~ Rick and Morty
Hey who's in my personal space? Stay outta my personal space.
Woah hey, who's around me right now.
~ Rick and Morty
Good morning! Oh and in case I don't see ya, good afternoon good evening and goodnight :D
~ Truman, The Truman Show
I've tried other cocos *taps box *
This is the best!
~ Truman's Wife, The Truman Show
You know, it's all about me — exactly!
~ Kuzco, The Emperor's New School Theme Song
The reason I called
The real reason is...
I believe we should terminate the cluster!
~ Peridot, Steven Universe
I've heard enough.
You have failed this mission.
The only way to redeem yourself is to obey this simple order:
You are to leave the cluster to grow. It will tear apart the Earth, and I will take immense satisfaction in erasing that hideous rock off of our STARMAPS!
IS
THAT
CLEAR?
"I won't do it! I can tell you with certainty that there are things on this planet worth protecting!"
WHAT DO YOU KNOW ABOUT THE EARTH?
"APPARENTLY MORE THAN YOU! YOU CLOD!"
~ Peridot & Yellow Diamond, Steven Universe
Some things never change
~ Anna, Frozen 2
qss
[STEVEN UNIVERSE SPOILERS TILL THE NEXT ALL CAPS]
Oh Pink, you've been here all along
~ Blue, Steven Universe
Ah, there you are.
Everyone is thrilled to see you safe and sound.
Did you have fun? Did you get everything out of your system?
Good, good.
Welcome home, Pink.
~ White, Steven Universe
No please no, no no we're all gonna be
~ Centi, Steven Universe
I've been fighting from the SECOND I broke free of the Earth's crust
Because of what YOU did to my PLANET
Because of what YOU did to my COLONY
Because of what YOU did to my DIAMOND!
"..Yellow Diamond?"
Wa— uh— (shock)
My diamond! Your diamond!
PINK DIAMOND!!
~ Jasper, Steven Universe (first mention of Pink Diamond. Chilling.)
I was there you know.
On the first war for this garbage planet.
~ Jasper, Steven Universe
I watched the leader of the crystal gems, Rose Quartz, SHATTER Pink Diamond
~ Eyeball, Steven Universe
(I really like to mix these two quotes together, despite being from totally different characters in totally different seasons they mesh really well:
I was there you know — at the first war for this garbage planet.
I watched the leader of the crystal gems, Rose Quartz, SHATTER Pink Diamond.
~ Jasper & Eyeball, Steven Universe / Me
Not after what YOU did to my DIAMOND!
"..yellow diamond?"
(shock)
I watched the leader of the crystal gems, Rose Quartz, SHATTER MY DIAMOND, YOUR DIAMOND.
PINK DIAMOND!
~ Jasper / Steven / Eyeball / Me, Steven Universe
I don't care about "potential" and "recourses". I want my cluster, and I want that planet to die. Just make that happen.
~ Yellow Diamond, Steven Universe
[SU SPOILERS OVER]
"He left us out for trash"
He was putting you IN THE ATTIC!
~ Jesse & Woody, Toy Story 3
WHAT ARE YA DOIN IN MY SWAMP
~ Shrek, Shrek
The two of you, are the FUCKING WORST!
~ Blim Blam the Alien, Rick and Morty
Everybody drop your guns EXCECPT FOR JERRY fucking classic
~ Rick, Rick and Morty
Bojack: Hey, can I tell you a funny story?
Diane: Ok, but it has to be very funny
Bojack: I won't lie to you, it's only kinda funny
~ BoJack and Diane, BoJack Horseman
Where, where should we go?
We can go anywhere that you know
We could travel through time
Or maybe see france
Or anywhere else naked ladies will dance
~ Intro to Felt Surrogacy, Community #lyrics
That was never your job
"Then why did you always make me feel like it was?"
~ Bojack and Diane, Bojack Horseman
I think some company is overdue
I've started talking to the pictures on the walls!
~ Anna, Frozen #lyrics
You beat cancer and went back to the carpet store?
~ Rick #n
Ohana means family
Family means nobody is left behind
~ Lilo and Stitch
"Why are you late, Lilo?"
It's Tuesday! Tuesday is sandwich day, for Pudge. Usually I give him peanut butter sandwiches, but we were out of peanut butter!
So I asked my sister what to give him and she said TUNA!
<whispers> Do you know what tuna is?
"Fish?"
IT'S FIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIISH!
If I gave Pudge fish, I'd be an abomination!
So I'm late! Because I had to go to the store! And by pudge peanut butter! And then I went down to the—
"Lilo Lilo Lilo! Why are you so worried about this?"
Pudge controls the weather.
<everyone looks around>
"You're crazy"
<Lilo beats the living shit out of her>
~ Lilo, Lio and Stitch
Pearl, why is there someone on the Diamond Line?
"I don't know! I was just about to tell her that—"
I'll take it from here.
~ Yellow Diamond & Yellow Pearl, Steven Universe
It was cold, and dark
~ Mr Potato Head, Toy Story 3
Productivity? You have a concept for that here? Being useful to other humans?
~ [I actually forgot where it's from! It's a short story about an AGI and a utopia with simulation technology and a derpy very happy protagonist and a straight man. It features simulating as pigeons?
Get in quick, get out quicker, with some real fake doors in your arms
~ Rick and Morty
Mm won't open Mm won't open Mm won't open
None of them open!
~ Rick and Morty
I will destroy you and everyone you love!
~ Rob, The Amazing World of Gumball
Ok there we go we're just gonna steal a couple of things, such as these common... office objects... such as those.. such as that.
~ Stealy, Rick and Morty
Ha! Boom baby!
~ Kuzco, The Emperor's New Groove
Rick: Morty, what happened in there—
"Shut up."
~ Rick and Morty, Rick and Morty
"Oh so now that you know you could've had it better, you resent me for holding you back"
"Well now that we know that the tables are turning, that means you thought there were unturned tables!"
~ Beth & Jerry, Rick and Morty
You can't rely on women. You can't rely on anyone. That's what I learned when I had to make my own sandwich today.
~ Butterscotch Horseman, Bojack Horseman
Adulting!
"Still not a verb"
"Back me up Ferb"
"It's not though"
"Whatever."
~ Doofenshmirtz, Isabella, Ferb, Phineas and Ferb: Candace Against the Universe #lyric
Shut up!
I said shut up, you bellittling zit.
~ Violet, The Incredibles
Do it! Rip my clothes off and mate with me for life!
~ Jessica, Rick and Morty
"Summer I wanna fuck your dad."
Oh REALLY?
~ Tricia & Summer, Rick and Morty
Also later, we need to talk about your height and your weight.
"That's fair."
~ Tricia Lange & Flute Girl, Rick and Morty
You're going to take someone's eye out. Besides, your saying it wrong. It's 'leviosa' — not 'leviosaa'
~ Hermione, Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone
You think you know just what to do
But I've got a tonne more experience than you
In adulting!
~ Dr Heinz Doofenshmirtz, Phineas and Ferb: Candace Against the Universe #lyrics
"Wait, do I have infinite daughters?"
"Nope. Nooo, just me."
~ Jaguar, Rick and Morty
We're gonna fly to school each mornin'
We're gonna smile the entire time
We're gonna be more happy
We're gonna finally be fine
~ Jeff & Britta, Community #lyrics
Woah woah woah woah woah HEY!
~ Bill Cipher
"Nice do, but back to the matter at hand
so what do you say, are you back in the band?"
"Maybe if I can find my old leather"
"Dude! We're getting the band back together!"
~ Phineas and Bobby Fabulous, Phineas #lyrics
FOR THE TOILET PEOPLE!
<dies>
~ Jessi, Big Mouth
[Gravity Falls finale spoilers]:
Look at me! Turn around and look at me you one eyed demon!
You're a real wise guy but you made one fatal mistake — you messed with my family.
"You're making a mistake! I'll give you anything! Money, fame, riches, infinite power your own galaxy — please!
What's happening to me?
<My time has come to burn, I evoke the ancient powers that I may return!>
Stanley!"
~ Stan & Bill Cipher, Gravity Falls
Fucked you up good and proper didn't we!
Me and my friend from the future!
~ Otis, Black Mirror: Bandersnatch
"Who's stupid now, BITCH?"
"MORTY WE JUST GOT HIM BACK!"
~ Morty and Summer, Rick and Morty
When I was falling to my death from that building, you know what the only thing my stupid brain could come up with was?
'Won't they be sorry.'
~ Bojack Horseman, Bojack Horseman
(I like the way he says 'stoopid'.)
Oh all right. Guess I'm goin' down.
~ Annie Edison, Community
You are one hundred and five years old — tell me exactly what you did in your life to end up here so that I don't make the same mistakes!
~ Jeff to Pierce, Community
I know you don't know what I mean
But you're not gonna know until you turn eighteen
~ Doofenshmirtz, Phineas and Ferb: Candace Against the Universe
Now I think our only care
and I think this question is really fair
~ Isabella, Phineas and Ferb: Candace Against the Universe
We've got too many eggs and not enough society
~ Glory to Glorzo, Rick and Morty #n
We've been waiting, for nearly thirty minutes
~ Dr Mahazwaren, Steven Universe
(And the way this came to my mind really captures the spirit of why I capture quotes here and how my mind works! I was waiting for someone, and my brain said "I've been waiting for" and then I realised I HAD something IN THERE, SOMEWHERE, from something I'd watched somewhere anywhere, somewhere to fill in the blanks, and what came up was a random quote from a random Steven Unverse episode from a random season one episode! I feel like Stephen Hawking, communicating through autocorrect.)
And a one and a two and a uh
~ Dipper Pines, Gravity Falls
Are you really a Crystal Gem?
~ Lapis to Steven, Steven Universe: Ocean Gem
"The boulder will land on a leaver that will launch... knives."
Jesus just gimme a gun I'll shoot myself.
~ Rick, Rick and Morty
"We can't leave yet! The whole point of coming here was to check on the Cluster!"
"STOP SINGING. Rose Quartz takes priority.
Get to the bridge, and set a course for homeworld."
"Go to Earth, they said. It'll be easy, they said."
~ Peridot and Jasper, Steven Universe
"Steven RUN!"
"Projective distabalizer."
~ Garnet and Jasper, Steven
Yes, yes! That's it! "That's so easy." Yeah but that's what's fun about it!
~ Steven and Peridot, Steven Universe
I'm so SICK of these MORONS!
~ Strategypattern, On Poor Tutors
Because you're gonna be something extroadinary. You're going to be a human being.
~ Rose Quartz, Steven Universe
Lapis, I don't wanna fight anymore! I said — I don't wanna fight!
~ Steven, Steven Universe
Space: have any thoughts about death? Let us know at "daylight at daylight is mine at gmail dot com". Yeah there are two "at"s in that email address, leave me alone
Minnat: I was just thinki— were you meant to like reiterate the first part? Like did you not say the full word and just say "at" or...
Space: Er no that's just my email address. You know, it's 2021, did you expect email addresses to stay the same since 1985? Jesus.
Minnat: Isn't 21 like current year?
Space: It is! Oh but am I not supposed to say that? Is that a spoiler?
Minnat: No... no! But you make it sound like it's very very old but it's actually like this year.
Space: No that's— I said it perfectly normally, the old stuff was entirely in your head
Minnat: Oh okay.
Space: I just said the current year is 2021... if you think it's old that's your own fault. I don't know why you think—
Minnat: No it's because of your tone... I inferred that you were gonna say like oh since like since 2016 or something you just said 2021 and I was like like "oh"
Space: Oh, oh okay well I'm sorry it's my fault then.
Minnat: No it's okay you don't have to—
Space: Maybe I was gonna say 2016, I don't remember. Maybe I was, you know? maybe you have a point. What do I know? sniffs But anyway—
~ Space and Minnat, Podcast Episode (#realquote)
Where are your rebel friends now?
~ Sidd Philips, Toy Story
You're face is so fat!
~ Mabel Pines, Gravity Falls
I'm so sorry,
I'll never let you out of my sight again
And I'll always keep you
Outta harm's wayyyyyyyyyyyyYYYYYYYYYYY!
~ SpongeBob, SpongeBob SquarePants
(This may be the one I've quoted for the longest amount of time in history)
It's gone... It's all gone bye bye woo see ya
~ Buzz Lightyear, Toy Story
I can't even fly outside of the window
~ Buzz, Toy Story
Laughs I knew I was gonna set you BACK but THIS is how you started? The legend? Steven Universe? How did a pathetic LOSER like YOU become saviour of the GALAXY?
~ Spinel, Steven Universe: The Movie
The mind is the most important aspect of human experience. Any magic that alters or changes it must be learnt about first
~ Harry Potter, Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality (#paraphrase)
DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO!
~ Rick, Rick and Morty
Nobody tells... me what to do...
~ Steven, Steven Universe